What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
