he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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