When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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