looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
