i think my tv is drunk
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize