Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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