I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
