Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize