I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I want a musical about memes.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
