I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
