How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
