You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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