I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
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I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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