K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
