yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
