Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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