Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
