Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
