he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
