Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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