i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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