If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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