Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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