dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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