can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
