Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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