seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
