I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
