I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
