i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
