i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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