You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
