is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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