are you so shy because you have an std?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
