You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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