): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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