He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
