We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize