I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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