you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There r osticjed everywhere
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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