i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize