Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.