i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize