Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.