when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize