i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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