Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
