biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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