I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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