I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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