Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
