i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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