im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
