Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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