you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
