My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
