you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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